There are days that I. Just. Don't. Want. To. Play. And I don't want to go for a bike ride. And I don't want to dress up. And I don't even want to color. Some days, I just don't want to be a Mom.
There. I said it.
Some days, I just want to do my travel planning work, clean the house, read a magazine, or do nothing at all. And sometimes, that feeling grows and grows, until I am so grouchy that I can't even stand to be around myself, let alone the noisy small people who reside in my house.
Of course, I love my children. But I guess I have this notion of what being at Stay-at-Home-Mom "should" be, and quite frankly, what goes on in my house is not that picture. I read some blogs and books and magazines where Motherhood is all sunshine and puppies and rainbows and light.
This ain't one of those blogs. And it certainly ain't one of those lives.
I'm not naive enough to think that those people don't have bad Mommy days. But I do think that it's OK to talk about it. Not only does it help the Mama in question, but I think it helps others too. Don't you feel a sense of relief when you read something and think "You must have a hidden camera in MY house, because I can totally relate to that."
There is more to this story, but I can't get my words around what is floating through my brain.
1 comment:
Ha! I feel like this at least once a day! Added on top of that, my house isn't clean enough, I never finish my to-do list, I'm not accomplishing all that I want to for myself, etc. I always tell myself that it's okay, very normal, to feel like this...but then I get the thought out of my head and go on with my day being the best I can! Sometimes I can't shake it, and I'm a huge grump and make the girls go play for a couple hours in the playroom or watch movies so I can sulk...or sit and have a snack without little fingers grabbing at it, and maybe look at a magazine with no concept of time like I was a teenager again.
It's good to know that we all go through it, that there truly is not a "perfect" mom/woman just a goal to get there, but I can tell ya...after reading and hearing way too much on the other side of it (all the bad and ugly parts of parenting) I personally made a conscious effert to put as much good stuff out there and read/hear as much good stuff as possible. I found myself being pulled down into that thinking: you know, misery loves company? And I was more grumpy than fun with my kids, and more ungrateful than grateful about my life.
Being a stay at home mom is a really difficult job, I've said it forever, and after this long (7 yrs for me) I've decided to try to let that go and just realize that life in general is as difficult as any person wants to make it. When I let go of what everyone else's idea of my life should look like, and take it easy on myself, and also lean on God more, my life feels lighter and I don't let my bad days make me feel bad.
Whoa! Sorry for the long comment/pep talk, hope it helped though! :P
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