she did it :)

After months of reading every book that the library had on the subject, hours of debate about wearing the fluffy white dress, and a solid week filled with "I won't do it!," Emerson completed her duties as a flower girl. While most girlie girls would jump at the chance to wear a fab dress and be fancy, my shy gal prefers not to stand in the limelight. So when she realized that her purpose was to a.) look cute and b.) be noticed by everyone , she expressed her displeasure at the whole process.

And while she was a total PILL during pictures and had a breakdown (not MELTDOWN, mind you, but a serious attack of nerves) just before she set off down the aisle, at the end of the day, she did enjoy herself. And although she told me for months that I shouldn't have said yes and that she'd never, EVER do it again, she ended the day by say

ing "And the next time, I'm a flower girl..."

Well done, Big!

dumped

Can I just say that I was dumped by my nanny on Sunday. Via text. Effective immediately.

Needless to say, it's been a fun week.

Being a working mom is awesome.

photos

So I just saw my August Picasa collage of photos and realized that I have not taken One. Single. Picture. This month. Not one!

I guess the bright side is that at this rate, I'll get my scrapbooks all caught up.

Although I would suppose that would require having the time to scrap.

Sigh.

hello? is this thing on?

Um, I need to start off with an apology. I have been massively absent from the blog world. Really from life in general. As you can imagine, I'm trying to juggle my new full-time teaching gig with being a mom (which has turned into a part-time job. How is THAT right????) AND travel planning. I'm sure that by now, there are literally crickets chirping on the other end of the screen, and that's just fine. I'm just going to keep on blogging when I have time and I'll consider it to be like a diary of sorts. If no one reads it, it's still therapeutic for me.

So far, I'm not doing the greatest job with the balance aspect of my life. But it's still early in the game. I have hope that I can get this thing figured out before school ends in June.

I did have a sad revelation tonight though and I need to get it off my chest.

Any stay-at-home parent, really ANY parent will tell you that 5:00 pm is the Witching Hour. Kids are getting bored and moms have to start thinking about dinner and this is usually where trouble ensues. There were countless days in my Mommyhood where we'd be fine until 5:00, and by the time Jeff showed up for dinner, one of the kids or me would be collapsed in a motionless heap, beaten down by the madness of the 5 o'clock hour. Can I get an Amen?

Imagine with me for a minute that said Witching Hour was basically the ONLY time you get to spend with your kids on a daily basis. Sad. Super sad. I HATE that. Neither the kids nor I am at my best at this time of day. I need to find a teaching job that goes from noon-7pm so that I can be with them in the morning when they're fun and happy and generally less sucky. In the meantime, I need to learn to deal and make the most of the time that I DO spend with E & P.

What am I moaning about, you ask? Aren't you out of the house ALL DAY and ready to face the 5:00 hour head on when you get home, you may wonder? Um, well, sort of. I mean, I really do want to spend time with the kids and play and read and cram 8 hours of mothering into 2 hours before bedtime. But sadly, someone does need to make dinner. We can't eat out of the crockpot EVERY night. It's just really hard to come home to kids who've missed me all day and tell them "Mama can only play for a few minutes before I need to start dinner."

Still working this out. Open to any and all suggestions that you may have.

reaching out

I have read over and over again that when we pray, God always responds in one of 3 ways: yes, no, or now right now. I have seen countless examples of this in my own life. Sometimes, prayers are answered literally the same day. Sometimes, it's a clear "No." (Still haven't give up hope on that purple Corvette that I prayed for when I was 5...) Lots of times, it's a "Not now." My teaching job, for example. God had a plan and His timing was the right timing for us. It's so reassuring that He's in charge, and all I have to do is to trust Him!

Recently, I reached out to a friend and invited her to The Alpha Course, which is being offered at our church. I was nervous to extend the invite, as we have not really discussed religion at length. I put it off for a few weeks, but finally worked up the nerve to type an email and took a deep breath as I hit "Send." I think I even said, out loud, "Now, I just wait and see."

I was struck with the thought that she'll either say yes, no, or not now. I never thought about it like that before, but I realized that in my own walk of Faith, I've done the same thing to God. I've told Him "No- I don't want to mess with religion at this point in my life." I've said "Not now. I'm too busy with ________ to learn more about Christ." And, thankfully, I eventually said "Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior!"

If I weren't so tired, I'm sure I could think of something epic to say to wrap this all together for you, but the fact that I even had the thought at all at this point is a freaking miracle unto itself.