So, lately I've been having a recurring dream. Or, shall I say nightmare. It's happening about once a week, and it has two alternating, horrific endings. Sweet.
Version 1:
I'm walking with the kids in our little downtown area. Pete is in the stroller and Emerson is on foot. She's skipping happily about 10 yards in front of me. As we approach the train tracks, I shout to her to wait, but she starts across without me and the gates go down, stranding her on one side and me on the other with a moving train between us. While I never witness anything awful happening, the dream does not end well.
Version 2:
Same story but as the gates start to go down, I quickly set the footbrake on the stroller and dart after Emerson, leaving Pete on a steep incline on the other side of the train. Because of my haste in setting the brakes, the stroller rolls down the hill and into oncoming traffic. Again, this does not end well. I literally shuddered as I typed these, even though they're MY dreams and I'm quite familiar with them.
Not coincidentally, the Green Eyed Monster has been rearing her ugly head around here and Emerson has an accute case of siblingitis. She's VERY jealous of Pete these days, and says many unkind things about him..." I want to HIT Pete," "Let's leave Pete outside," "No Pete, you can NOT play with my toys," {which, by the way, he could care less about at this point.} Not only that, but her 3 year-old self can be quite challenging, and Pete, well, he's just Mr. Mellow. No sassing, no rudeness, and generally a joy to be around. Um, which would YOU prefer? I'm trying very hard to show equal attention, but I'm still new at this whole multi-kid thing, and being an only child, I don't have a lot of background experience.
I'm sure that these dreams are just a manifestation of my stress and concern with the situation, but really, brain? Can't we just focus on this during my WAKING hours and let a mama get some shut eye?
Ah, parenting...The ultimate rapid-aging remedy.
3 comments:
OMG! Talk about a mother's guilt showcasing itself through your subconscious. Of course the younger one is more fun than the older one right. The sad part is that in about 6-9 months, Pete will hit that stage of wanting to do more than he actually can and not being able to communicate and you kind of enjoy the rationalization with your 3 year old. Instead of feeling guilty, think of it as an ebb and flow thing (kind of like my motivation to diet) and that it all evens out over time.
Ugh! I really dislike when my subconscious does that to me, too! We all go through it at some point when we have more than one kiddo!
Also, I got an award for my blog and need to pay it forward....love your blog so you are on my list!
http://theenlightenedbug.blogspot.com/2010/10/so-happy-i-could-singcover-your-ears.html
Have you read "Siblings Without Rivalry"? It's amazing for helping siblings feel secure with their place in the family.
I use it at my preschool and it works miracles for building relationships!
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